like when i overhear her talking to my aunt on the phone, telling her that my boobs are like her’s when she was my age, petite and perky, and luckily i do not have outrageous mountains.
from my eavesdropping adventures, i’ve learned that she is worried my little sister will have huge-ass boobs.
and then she want on to say that i have a lovely little figure, i need to be proud of my “petite-ness”, and stop worrying about what i eat. after all, it’s great to have a nice, “bubble-butt” because that’s how she caught my dad’s attention, of course.
dear lord. embarasssing.
let’s discuss my body with my auntie karen, shall we?
challenge, "day" 4. even though its been practically a week...
A HABIT YOU WISH YOU DIDN’T HAVE:
well, let’s see. there’s a lot.
i procrastinate like there’s no tomorrow…is that like an oxymoron?
i’m such a bitch to my family. seriously, i need to get my act together. i’m so mean, and i can’t help it!
IM SO LAZY. my friends tell me i’m lazy, and my family tells me i am, and i know its true. i never get off my ass, if i need something i always ask someone else to do it and beg them until they’ll go get it for me. its embarrassing and RIDICULOUS.
i always put myself first. i can say i am the most selfish person i know.
about my rant, seriously, i am losing it right now. I am about to like unfollow everyone. I hate everything about some of my followers right now when some of them are just super young and don't know any better.
i’m not sure if you consider me super young (15) and i dont know a ton about tumblr, BUT i have to say i agree with you 100%
well, this is already in my description box. BUT, i might as well say it again.
basically, i was too darn tired of trying find something meaningful that no one else used, and i was mad. so i used “letsfreakinstart” with the intention of changing it later. but then, i realized i liked it, so it stuck.
FROM THE DESCRIPTION BOX:
Story behind the URL: After spending at least an hour trying to find something inspirational and meaningful to use (many of my ideas from the songs above) i was extremely exasperated. so i decided to start.
let's start that 30 day challenge that i said i would start four days ago.
these are recent as of, about an hour ago.
FIFTEEN INTERESTING FACTS.
my pictures are never this weird, truthfully i just felt like drawing on my face, and it got crazy.
my best guy friend asked me out yesterday, and i said yes. it’s safe to say we’re in the awkward stage.
i’m friends with all different types of people.
I LOVE (alternative) MUSIC.
my favorite colors are brown and teal.
i’m 5 feet and 1/4 inches tall. the 1/4 counts.
one wall in my room is covered in marker.
i never really cry unless i’m angry or in trouble.
right now, i do two competition cheerleading teams, a competition group gym team, dance and dance. i also ski, run cross country, play soccer, and am on a swim team in different seasons.
i can run more than 6 miles straight.
last night, i slept 19 hours straight.
i cheer or tumble 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, and sometimes it gets overwhelming.
last year, i had straight A’s all year round. freshman year in all honors classes but science, my first report card already had 3 B+’s. ugh.
i love and admire adam lambert to death. he is wonderfully talented, an amazing person who has persevered and followed and achieved his dreams, and is, of course, tall, dark, and handsome.
i want to be a lawyer or a coroner when i grow up. i could say the majority of people are repulsed by my last ambition.
*one for good luck - I am: scared, brave, overwhelmed, in control, caring, happy, depressed, spontaneous, shy, easy going, outspoken, risky, cautious, ambitious, down-to-earth, a dreamer, spastic, friendly, rude, courteous; the list goes on.
WHY in the world does everything have to be so hard for me?
i know that there are people in drastic situations in the world who would kill to have my life, but i can’t help feeling sorry for myself. a lot.
why does my family have to suck ass? seriously, its awful. it would be nice if my mom would at least try to walk a mile in my shoes, because no matter what i do, i am WRONG. i swear, she is impossible. i dont get much encouragement for anything i do well (getting honor roll, doing well at cheerleading competitions, new gymnastics skills, whatever.) but when anything is a SMIDGEN out of place, well let’s just go ahead and chop my head off. actually, no, not chop my head off. instead let’s drag out my death for days. torture me. let’s stick needles in my eyes, so i can’t see you coming. then let’s pull off my fingernails while i scream and wait a day or so, so i can anticipate more disagreements the next day. let’s peel off the upper layers of my skin and fracture my bones, while i scream, i want forgiveness. let’s break me, split me in two, shatter me.
maybe i’m overreacting. i am, really. i love my mom. she is an amazing, beautiful person who loves and adores me. she would give anything to make me happy, and i care more about her than anything else in the world. (crap, i just started crying.) i just want me and her to have a better relationship. we don’t get along because of simple misunderstandings. i wish i could understand her, and she could understand me. I WISH i could stand to have a normal conversation with her, and no one would get upset.
i know i over-analyze the things she says, take them the wrong way, and reprimand her for things she can’t help or if she says something i don’t agree with. and i know it hurts her. i just feel like sometimes she doesn’t understand me. last night, after we had JUST apologized for a fight, i mentioned that i felt like i couldn’t live up to her standards. i said that i felt like no matter what i did or how hard i tried, it wasn’t good enough for her. that everything i did was wrong. i feel like i’m a failure to her, and that i’m just not a good person. you know what? she got ANGRY with me for saying that. she was as pissed as…-i suck with similes.- BUT, she took what i said the wrong way. by telling her that, i was in despair, i wanted to connect with her, and to get the encouragement i felt that i deserved and craved. i’m absolutely dying to please her. i guess that in her eyes, i was denying that she cared about me. she felt that i was saying that i was ungrateful for what she does for me and that i couldn’t see her love for me. NONE of that is true. me and her just don’t see eye to eye. and it hurts, it hurts so badly that we can’t just connect, talk about the day or new accomplishments or experiences, have a CONVERSATION, without constantly misinterpreting each other and seeking out the best in each other’s statements and feedback. (crying, again.) i know i have work to do with how i treat her, but i just wish she would try too.
i feel like being fifteen, starting high school, having sports every day (no time for homework) and whatever else is going on in between is overwhelming. it’s taking a toll on me. and this just makes it worse.